Writing About God.Com

Something

2012-02-12T00:01:00.000-08:00

Weary singer of unsung songs
Moving in deep, undulating waves
Of subconscious longing for flight,
I plunge upwards into soar and glide,
Infused with the grace of birds,
Like the happy release of death
When very old.

So worn
And wishing for the play of wind
On flight feathers,
I let go and fall
Into something
Beyond these words.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Measure and Weigh

2012-02-05T00:01:00.000-08:00

We are a people
Who measure and weigh,
Measure and weigh,
While the moment itself
Slips away.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

True Blue Gurus

2012-01-29T00:01:00.000-08:00

True blue gurus
Tell me who I should be
With such certainty:
Honest, honorable and wise,
Trusting in providence,
Patient with injustice,
Content with my haphazard existence.

Yes, yes,
It is a blessing to be alive,
But endless, underpaid labor
Leaving little opportunity for imagination
Does not engender exuberance.

True blue gurus
Tell me there are no real obstacles,
That mind is the matter,
But here in the world outside my mind
Things can go terribly wrong.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Do Not Know

2012-01-22T00:01:00.000-08:00

Look backward,
Look forward,
Then,
Know,
Then,
Do not know.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

I Remove The Stone

2012-01-15T00:01:00.000-08:00

In these later years I sometimes despair
When thought returns to unburdened times,
When moist-eyed remembrance,
Sorted from care,
Makes longing for such pleasant fiction
A stone in the heart.

Shamed by my childish discontent,
My sophisticated selfishness,
I hear my breathing,
I see this world,
I remove the stone.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

In My Dark Hours

2012-01-13T10:49:00.000-08:00

In my dark hours,
Deserted,
Miserable,
Without hope of redemption,
In a world grown cold and colorless,
In the depth of my most personal failures,
I hear a soft voice,
Speaking calm words
With tenderness and tenacity,
Slipping through the black curtain
Of my defeat,
Pulling me back to life
From the perilous ledge
Of despair.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

After We Die

2012-01-08T00:01:00.000-08:00

After we die
We should all have a day
To come back and say,
Now I know why,
Now I know why.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Prayers

2012-01-01T00:01:00.000-08:00

How long do prayers persist?
How often must they be repeated?
What are minutes and hours,
What is the length of a day to a prayer,
Or to God, for that matter?

Does God tally prayers in number,
Weighing some against others?
Or is this somber accounting left to angels and saints?
Are prayers weighted by earnestness?
Do they ascend by urgency?

It is worry in me that entreats,
Worry and love,
Love and fear,
Knowing in this world
Science and happenstance will not be denied.

Yet even if God were no more than disinterested science,
Unyielding to desires both noble and base,
I would not have my heart so cold
As to abandon what is so easily accomplished.

You may not believe your prayers are heard,
But if they open your ears to the longings of your heart,
If they stir you to reform, inspiration and action,
If they arouse your desire for honesty,
If they cast some light on the path ahead,
They are not wasted.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

On Christmas Day

2011-12-19T00:01:00.000-08:00

Whose birth do we celebrate on this day?
The living embodiment of God?
The only one?

What about you?
What about me?

Even the tiniest blade of grass struggles toward the light.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Do You Remember?

2011-12-18T00:01:00.000-08:00

for Plato

Before words,
Before explanations,
Before memory,
Before appearances,
Before reactions,
Before culture,
Before environment,
Before your body,
Before your parents,
Before all your generations,
Before all of us,
Before everything,
Remember?

Do you remember?

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Temptation

2011-12-11T00:01:00.000-08:00

O you sanctimonious souls,
I ask you:
At this very moment,
Do you hear the words of the angels?
Do you see the blinding white light?

The greatest temptation of all,
The temptation of knowing.
The hardest thing to surrender,
The sin of certainty.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Children, Still

2011-12-04T00:01:00.000-08:00

So many wars of religion,
Large and small,
Between countries,
Between people,
Fought over words,
Ideas,
Symbols.

Our words,
Our ideas,
Our symbols,
All our iconography is representative,
Pointing to that which has no form,
No individual vocabulary,
No contrived ideology,
No exclusive symbology.

May we all find comfort and healing
In our decorated places of worship,
Exterior and interior,
Our places of heaven
Where we all must cleanse our hearts,
Where we all are children, still.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Amen

2011-11-27T00:01:00.000-08:00

When you begin a prayer
You open a door.

Keep the door open.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Every Damn Day

2011-11-23T10:55:00.000-08:00

OK,
So there is no Santa Claus
And there’s no Santa Claus god,
Because even though my neighbor with the new Mercedes
Swears God personally wanted him to have that car,
There’s all these little children,
Stricken,
Suffering,
Dying in droves.

So,
God says,
“You’re on your own Earthlings!”
But still we pray for just a little advice,
A hot tip:
“Come on God, just a hint?”
And maybe you get a revelation.

Me,
I just get a headache,
And no matter how hard I try
It’s the same old me,
Every damn day,
Still trying to have a meaningful conversation
With God.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Angelic

2011-11-23T10:54:00.000-08:00

I used to think angels were perfect,
Unstained,
Untouched by human frailty,
Until,
In a low moment
An angel comforted me,
The kind of comfort only an angel could bring,
An angel who knows what it is to be human,
Who knows what it is to fail.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Imaginary

2011-11-20T00:01:00.000-08:00

If your paradise is an artifice of your own creation
Yet you believe you are in paradise,
Feel like you are in paradise,
Isn’t that just as good as imaginary love,
Imaginary love you believe is real,
That keeps you alive and dreaming,
Writing long love letters late at night,
Hoping, always hoping until the oxygen finally runs out?

Just because your heaven is a dream
Doesn’t mean you can’t live there.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Time Keeper

2011-11-13T00:01:00.000-08:00

I am the one who sets back time
This chilly gray morning
While wife and children slumber
In the hibernation of Sunday.

I sneak like a tooth fairy
From room to room,
Setting back clocks,
Slipping another hour of sleep
Silently under their pillows,
Hastening the darkening of a season
Already too dark
For my timeless soul.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

One By One

2011-11-06T00:01:00.000-07:00

No,
Not even in my most hope-filled moments
Do I expect humanity to awaken,
Eyes wide,
And begin a new era,
Infused with wisdom,
Love
And light.

As always,
One by one.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

This Gift

2011-10-30T00:01:00.000-07:00

Father,
Thank you for this gift of my suffering,
Suffering so slight,
Measured against the agonies of this world.

May I use it well
To enter the heart of humanity,
Embrace the sorrow words alone cannot describe,
Find within the shattering,
Suddenly,
Without announcement,
Grace.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Another

2011-10-23T00:01:00.000-07:00

After all these years of earnest self-improvement,
After all the studying,
All the prayers,
The self-examination,
The questions,
The meditation,
The false euphoria,
The despair,
If I awaken one morning
As another,
If I am new,
If my sight has been restored,
If I again see the world
Through the innocent eyes of a happy child,
But the world I have made,
The life I have lived,
All my old obligations
Beckon still,
Then?

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Translation

2011-10-16T00:01:00.000-07:00

Words are but tame translation
Of the unspoken world
Where meaning gives way
And being is all.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

This Mother's Prayer

2011-10-09T00:01:00.001-07:00

God,
Oh yes that troublesome word,
She has trouble with that word,
Visions of blind obeisance,
A fairy tale euphoria,
Ignorance,
Superstition,
A certain lack of precise intellectual focus,
Oh yes she has trouble with that word.

Yet in her most private, personal moments
Something like a prayer emerges,
If only as the last obligation
Of a mother whose children have left home,
Her children,
Out there somewhere.

And so she prays,
Trying as we all try
To bend the course of destiny
To our will.

Atheist that she is,
She will not abandon her children
To a godless world.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

A Matter Of Time

2011-10-02T00:01:00.000-07:00

To you who suffer,
Please know that I think of you
And pray for you
Every day
And I don’t understand
What it is in this world
That chooses you
And spares me
And it may only be a matter of time
Until I am chosen
And you are spared,
A matter of time,
Yes,
I suppose that’s what it’s all about.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

This Word

2011-09-25T10:38:00.001-07:00

The dizziness came on so bad
I figured I’d better write something down
Before I fell down dead,
Something important,
The most important thing.

I took out my pen
And wrote this word:

Infinity.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

In Prayer

2011-09-18T00:01:00.000-07:00

In prayer
We become the manifestation of God,
The explanation of God,
The delineation of God,
For in prayer we bring the essence of God
Into our lives
Where it changes our purposes,
Our actions.

It is not God the Father,
The majestic, bearded image of divinity,
Who alone intercedes in our lives.
Too much tragedy in this world
To believe a merciful God would
Cover His eyes,
Shield His hearing.

We are the agents of God,
His flesh and bone,
Apostles of mercy.

In prayer,
When we are done with all our asking and apologizing,
After we finally stop talking,
When we finally begin to listen,
The instruction!

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Two Resolutions

2011-09-11T00:01:00.000-07:00

When this life has worn you weary
And each day is a struggle
To find meaning,
Resolve to be honest,
About everything,
All day long.

Resolve to be kind,
With everyone,
All day long.

Then,
Meaning will return.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Saying The Word

2011-09-05T00:01:00.000-07:00

It’s easy not to believe,
To scoff at the personification of God,
The majestic bearded man
Who decides everything,
The prayer specific saints,
The miraculous interceding angels,
The signs and symbols.

But alone in the dark,
Surrounded by the suffering of this world
I find myself praying,
Saying the word.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

I Am

2011-09-04T00:01:00.000-07:00

I am that which casts shadows,
I am a shadow.

I am a piano, unaware of the one who strikes my keys.

I am the letters on this page,
This thought,
This moment.

I am your disbelief.

I am the thickness of night,
Wrinkling the skin of old dogs,
Pricking the dreams of frightened children.

I am a voice,
Calling out to itself.

I am what answers.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Improve The World

2011-08-28T00:01:00.000-07:00

Sit quietly,
Do nothing.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Answer

2011-08-28T00:00:00.000-07:00

Alone and grieving
I search the evening sky.
The full moon rises
With a big happy face.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

All This Eternity

2011-08-21T00:01:00.001-07:00

Some pray for wisdom
And go mad.

Some pray for health
And are struck down.

Some pray for love
And are left alone.

Some pray for peace
And do not live to see it.

All this eternity
Will level things out someday.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Uncertainty

2011-08-14T00:01:00.000-07:00

I do not go to church
But there is no denying the power of place,
A focal point,
A refuge.

I do not wear a cross
But the man on his knees before the image of Crucifixion
Has opened a door,
Willing to change.

I do not read the Bible
But within those pages are awakenings,
A path to realization for some,
Everyday eternity.

How do we tell one another what is necessary,
What is essential?
We are all explorers
Without words for the undiscovered.

Life is too big for complete revelation,
The course of our incarnations too short.
We must embrace uncertainty
As surely as we embrace faith.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

A Chance

2011-08-07T00:01:00.000-07:00

O yeah you can laugh
At what you think is my naiveté,
All this wishing desiring hoping,
These few shreds of faith,
Faith in something vaguely reassuring.

O yeah I wanna be reassured all right
Cause death comes no matter what you think,
No matter what you plan or decide,
No matter what kind of deal you think you’ve made,
Death comes and rips you loose from this life
Without any consideration at all.

O yeah I’ve gotta believe there’s a chance
That I can rise above all the despair,
All this darkness always pushing,
Pushing against something so simple,
So simple as a sunny disposition.

O yeah I’ve seen ‘em,
People who take life’s knocks
And still smile as an unconscious reflex,
Something maybe about the way they were raised,
Something genetic,
Something maybe about luck.

Whatever it is I want a piece of that
And I don’t care how unsophisticated I look
Or how naïve you think I am,
I just don’t care
Because death comes no matter what you think
And I just gotta get rid of this fear
While I still have a chance.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

This Great Gift

2011-07-31T00:01:00.000-07:00

When the end of things finally came
We rejoiced.
The end of sadness,
Of hate,
Of despair.
But then rejoicing also came to an end,
For it was the end of all things,
The end of joy,
Of love,
Of hope.

When the end of all things was finally finished,
We were struck blind and deaf,
Mute,
Without the discriminating power,
Without time or temporality,
Blank.
Then we ceased to exist,
For it was the end of everything.

Now we are back,
Complaining again,
Believing in the possibility of utopia,
Working to put an end to all that is unjust,
This great gift of contention once again begun,
Still unfinished,
This great gift of life.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Inhuman

2011-07-24T00:01:00.000-07:00

A saint without selfishness,
A prophet without confusion,
God without flaw,
Inhuman.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Sacred

2011-07-17T00:02:00.000-07:00

What do you hold sacred?

Not in your places of worship,
Your churches,
Your temples,
Your mosques.

Not in your ceremonies,
Your practices,
Your prayers.

It is no real test
When you are harnessed with the obligations
Of pious behavior.

Show me what you hold sacred
In a crowded parking lot,
When the hunger is upon you
For a really good parking space.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

This Fragile Light

2011-07-17T00:01:00.000-07:00

This fragile light
Warms,
Sings,
Breathes into me,
Awakens this child,
So long asleep.

Can I stay in this fragile light?
Can I stay?

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Morning Prayer

2011-07-10T00:02:00.000-07:00

Thank you Father for this day,
For this life I dream away,
For my feet upon the ground,
For my ears to hear the sound
Of my life and of this Earth,
Thank you Father for my birth.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

This Morning

2011-07-10T00:01:00.001-07:00

Why only this morning
I saw a robin
Poking the grassy earth
Around the wide trunk
Of an ancient oak.

She soon had a fat grub
Wriggling in her beak
And rose into the air
Far above the trees
Faster than my breath.

Why only this morning
I saw a young boy
Walking with his mother
Down a sunlit street
Singing without words.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

In My Mind

2011-07-03T00:01:00.000-07:00

Perhaps it’s all in my mind.

So much of this life is idea:
Our cities and houses,
The clock,
The kind of work we do,
Money,
How we choose friends and enemies,
What we do for fun,
What brings us joy,
What brings us sorrow.

Even love,
Yes, even love is an idea,
Contained in the heart,
Contained in the mind,
Wherever such a preposterous notion as the mind resides.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Wooden Angel

2011-06-26T00:05:00.000-07:00

In my low moments
Her quiescent gaze from atop my bookshelf
Keeps me from falling
Too low.
Her golden wings
Pointed toward heaven,
The palms of her tiny hands
Pressed flat together in perfect alignment of fingers,
In supplication,
Her faint illumination
In the shadowed light of a flickering candle
Helps me find some measure of grace.

Just a painted wooden angel,
Frozen in her flowing robes,
Her back straight and head barely bowed,
Balanced on tireless knees
In her cloud-born symmetry of hope
And mercy.
Her eyes are open,
Open to this man-made world
Which offers so little hope for the innocent
Yet squanders so much mercy on scoundrels.

O angel, how can I ask my selfish blessings
In this world where children suffer and die,
Hour upon hour?
Where are their angels?
What have they done to forsake thee
That they should die so young?
O angels, are you all made of wood?
Is it really up to us after all?

Behold!
The work of angels,
So frequently misunderstood.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Here, Now

2011-06-26T00:01:00.000-07:00

Earth.
Heaven.
Hell.

Heaven and Hell.

Hell on Earth.
Heaven on Earth.

Heaven and Hell on Earth.

Here,
Now.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Heaven Is A Difficult Place

2011-06-19T00:01:00.000-07:00

It’s not at all what I expected.

Heaven is a difficult place,
So full of strife and tragedy,
At times I forget where I am,
Here in this place of extremes,
Of contrast,
Where kindness is born of cruelty,
Where love is born of fear,
Where enlightenment is born of ignorance,
Where all possibilities exist,
Darkness and light being what they are.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Lights

2011-06-12T00:01:00.000-07:00

Without love,
Some kind,
Any kind of crazy love,
The lights are out
All over town.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Connected

2011-06-05T00:01:00.000-07:00

The reason
Why your busy ambitions
Amuse,
Is connected to
The reason
Why I sit outside this evening
In an old lawn chair,
Fanning away insects
And the gentle breeze of thought.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

The Chosen

2011-05-29T00:01:00.000-07:00

God has been good to you,
You say,
Helped you succeed,
Helped you prosper.

I wonder why
God pays so much attention
To you
And leaves the prayers of so many millions
Unanswered?

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Something Still Here

2011-05-22T00:46:00.000-07:00

Have you ever watched an old movie
And suddenly realized,
All those people
Are dead?

Yet something inside says:
How can this be?

There they are,
Right in front of you,
Living,
Breathing,
Immortal,
Yet perished.
All.

And here we are,
Striving,
As if there is anything in this world
We can anchor ourselves to,
As if we could stop the rising tide of time
That will envelop us all.

Yet something still seems permanent,
Despite all the loved ones come and gone,
Something still here.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

I Go With Them

2011-05-22T00:01:00.000-07:00

In the early light she asks me
For protection from the world.
She prays for her family,
For her innocence,
For her tortured soul.
She moves closer to me.

She calls me father
But holds no clear image of what I am.
She wants to be a saint,
An artist,
A wealthy woman.

Her little boy shouts
Mommy, it’s today!
And they are gone,
Plunging into a freshly painted world of play.
I go with them.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Something

2011-05-15T00:01:00.000-07:00

I Will Sing!

2011-05-08T00:01:00.000-07:00

I could write about a flower,
How it embodies my soul,
The blooming,
The withering away,
Or perhaps a thermometer,
The inconstant mercury,
Any metaphorical device would do,
But not today.

Today I am flesh, blood,
A thousand thousand things.
Today
For some unnameable reason
I am happy.
No more speaking.
Today
I will sing!

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

The Meek

2011-05-01T00:01:00.000-07:00

The meek may indeed inherit the Earth,
But they will not explore it.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Illumination

2011-04-24T00:01:00.000-07:00

Early this morning,
Just a glimpse of golden light
On the peak of a nearby mountain,
Then it was gone,
Still beautiful,
But no longer illuminated.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

When The Light Shines Down

2011-04-17T00:01:00.000-07:00

When the light shines down
I’m gonna feel so lucky,
Gonna feel so nice,
I’m gonna be a big tipper
When the light shines down.

When the light shines down
And I got money in my pocket,
Friends callin’ on the phone,
I’m gonna get down on my knees
And say: Thank You Lord!
Thought this day would never come,
The day the light shined down.

I almost gave up the dream,
Gettin’ so darn mean,
But then the light shined down
And showed me the way,
Hallelujah!
That’s what I’m gonna say.

Say it quiet,
Say it loud,
Say it humble,
Say it proud,
Or I may not make a sound,
Just jump around,
When the light shines down.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

When I Pray

2011-04-10T00:01:00.000-07:00

When I pray,
First,
I turn off all my electronic devices,
And,
Put my list of things to do aside,
Then,
Close my eyes and ask.

After a while,
I stop asking
And listen.

It takes time.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Ark

2011-04-03T00:01:00.000-07:00

I hear faint whispers,
Far from this devouring sea.

I am lost,
Waiting for pestilence to pass.

That all things must pass
Is small comfort to the despair of this place.

I press one hand against the other,
Not knowing what to ask,
Knowing only that some things must stop
Before other things begin.

I hear faint whispers.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Who Is Asking?

2011-03-26T00:01:00.000-07:00

What is the shape of my mind?
The shape of my spirit?
My soul?

What is my essence?
What does it look like?
Just an image in the mirror?

Who is writing these words?

Am I a collection?
A collection of pain,
Pleasure,
And everything between and beyond?
Am I a receptacle?
Am I both?
Or neither?

And by the way,
Who is asking?

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Wearing Thin

2011-03-20T00:01:00.000-07:00

Some folks say
They want to live
Forever,
But as for me,
This particular person
I am
Is wearing thin.
I can think of few things
Worse
Than an eternity
Chained to this one particular person
I am,
This soul attached,
Forever beset
By this particular concoction
Of insecurities and doubts,
Addictions, duplicities
And genetic happenstance.
Gotta wipe the slate clean,
Someday.

Be somebody else for a while.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

At Last You Begin

2011-03-13T00:01:00.000-08:00

Reaching your destination at last,
You begin,
Because conclusions do not satisfy
Anyone but everyone,
And everyone is no one at all.

So you finally arrive at the beginning,
Exhausted,
Confused,
Worn out,
Finished with ideas of all sorts and kinds,
Ready at last.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

We The Creative

2011-03-06T01:59:00.000-08:00

We of the large-brained variety
Are the creative animals.
Survival is not enough,
We must have reasons to survive,
Philosophies,
Theologies.

And just to prove
How creative we really are,
We pretend our imaginings
Are the work of God.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

The Mystery

2011-02-28T11:19:00.000-08:00

When the temporal world turns against you
It’s hard to sustain faith in the eternal,
To embrace the mystery.

Some say our bodies create our minds,
That our sense of a soul,
A spirit,
Is but an illusion created by our physical existence.
But do we not struggle in this life
Between physical desire and spiritual aspiration?
Why would our minds invent such torment?

The cruelties of existence so often extinguish hope,
The fuel of imagination and inspiration
That calls us to dream,
And to bring our dreams out of the ether,
Into our everyday lives.

Sophisticates reason away spiritual inclinations,
For they are blessed with fortune and purpose.
But this too shall pass
And each of us shall be reduced,
Left for a moment,
Or an eternity,
To enter the heart of the mystery.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Are You Ready To Believe?

2011-02-27T02:03:00.000-08:00

Are you ready to believe?
Have you finally fallen,
Fallen so low,
Humbled and humiliated,
Defeated at last by your once insatiable ego,
Fallen so low
That now you are ready,
Ready to believe?

Do not despair,
For this world is chock full of gurus,
Wise ones who will set you straight
For a nominal fee,
If you are truly ready,
Ready to believe.

Surrender your small insignificant self
And join us here in this cavernous auditorium,
Our hands in the air,
Hallelujah!
It’s kindergarten all over again.
Ashes, ashes,
We all fall down.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Tonight

2011-02-20T02:06:00.000-08:00

All the lovers in bliss,
All the babies in pain,
My joy runs through my sadness
Like wind through rain.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

We Are The Water

2011-02-13T02:09:00.000-08:00

Searching for the answers,
For so long,
Until I finally discovered
The expectation of an answer
Is the first delusion.

Answers are stones in the river.
We are the water.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Waiting

2011-02-06T02:15:00.000-08:00

Yes, I was like you,
Waiting to be perfect before I opened my eyes,
Praying,
Struggling with self-improvement,
Moving forward in spurts
Then falling behind,
A little euphoria now and then,
A little despair,
Yes,
I was like you,
Denying the moment,
Making plans,
Getting things done,
And even though I now know better,
This busy world still overwhelms me,
Distracts and diffuses me.

I sit in the light, waiting for the sun.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Bird, Tree And Sky

2011-01-30T02:16:00.000-08:00

When my children were young,
Before I went to bed
I’d peek inside each room,
Watch them sleep awhile,
Watch them sinking into the sea of night,
Hear their soft, earnest breathing,
And the voice said:

See the treasure of your life,
This will pass.

I am sitting outside in the morning sun,
Estimating the days I have left.
A scrub jay comes for a peanut,
Stills a moment and looks at me,
Then grabs a peanut off the fence and flies.

She is young, sleek and quicker than an eye blink.
Her flying is more like falling,
Falling from one branch to another,
Then a few strong flaps and gravity is reversed
And she falls up, up,
To the top of a tree and squawks three times,
And the voice says:

Her life is short, yet free from regret,
You will know her children.

The warm the sun feels good these late autumn days.
The tree is green, red and brown
And the sky is the color of my eyes,
And the voice says:

Bird, tree and sky,
See the treasure of your life,
This will pass.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

A Vehicle

2011-01-23T02:18:00.000-08:00

It sang on your lips,
It moved your fingers across the keys,
And those who listened knew
Something extraordinary was going on.

The maker of this music
Was not entirely you.
But then,
Intoxicated by adulation,
You forgot it was so.

It was no longer singing in your voice,
No longer moving your hands,
And those who listened
So admiringly before,
Listened no more.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

The Boundaries Of Heaven

2011-01-16T14:19:00.000-08:00

We draw the boundaries of heaven
Around the spaces of ourselves,
Marked off by threat
And bluster,
As if heaven were a place
Unwelcome.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

This

2011-01-09T23:33:00.001-08:00

The profound question:
What happens after we die?

What a surprise it would be,
If this,
Was it.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Chance

2011-01-02T14:21:00.000-08:00

Good luck,
Bad luck.

Both undeserved.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Upon The Cross

2010-12-18T14:22:00.000-08:00

How could they simply wait and watch
Their sweet Jesus slowly die upon the cross,
As if his dying were a natural, unavoidable thing?

Pull out the nails,
Take him from that place,
Let him be a living miracle.

Goodness should survive and thrive among us.

Alas, we are their true descendants
And carry their traditions well,
Witnesses to the deaths of our own sweet kin,
A million martyred Christs,
And millions more
Destined to suffer and die
While we wait and watch
And sometimes wonder why.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Conditional

2010-12-12T02:23:00.000-08:00

Waiting,
Listening,
Praying for divine guidance,
As long as the holy message
Conforms
With certain theological predilections
And does not require
Too much humility.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

In This Place

2010-12-05T10:31:00.001-08:00

This is all we know,
These caffeinated mornings
And crowded freeway commutes,
These peopled places,
Marked,
Altered.

Scheduled repose,
Manufactured entertainments,
The occasional exodus to nature
With the proper reservations,
Row 32,
Space 6.

But doesn’t it all seem a little strange sometimes,
This concoction of paradise and purgatory?
And how blurred their boundaries,
How blurred within our limitless eternal selves,
Living out this highly contrived finite physical existence.

Do you long to resolve contradictions
And in so doing,
Increase their numbers?

We believe what we want to believe
Until belief itself is finally exhausted,
A small, hard thing,
So difficult to discard.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Unexplainable

2010-11-28T02:25:00.000-08:00

It is our nature
To try and explain the unexplainable,
To give it form,
To make it tangible
So that it may be examined,
Analyzed,
Reduced to a concept,
No longer unexplainable,
No longer God.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Each And Every One

2010-11-21T02:26:00.000-08:00

Life wears on us all,
Wears us down,
Wears us out,
Makes it hard to sleep,
Hard to get up in the morning
And do it all over again.

Long after it has worn out its welcome
The familiar calls us back,
Demands our attention
To the same old things,
All those things we thought we wanted,
An immortal monotony of routine,
The daily routine we've made.

Bored and burdened we are,
Full of complaints
In this garden of prosperity,
Just beginning to understand
That prosperity is never enough,
That each and every one of us,
No matter how high
Or low,
Each and every one of us
Must struggle against the slumber of the soul.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

It Is Accomplished

2010-11-01T11:35:00.000-07:00

It began with walking,
A little longer each day,
Fueled somehow by being outside,
By wandering among the purposeful,
Watching,
Listening.

What is it that sets me apart,
That makes me the observer
With nothing at all to do
But watch,
And listen?

It began with walking,
Longer and longer each day
Until I finally stopped going home,
No more use for a home.

Home was everywhere.
I became everyone.

At first I suffered.
Then it was no longer me suffering,
No longer me
Dirty, cold and hungry,
Just this shell.

Whatever happens to this body
No longer matters.
I am larger than this body.
I am everything I see,
Everything I hear.

I am absorbed.

And after this body dies,
You shall walk upon me,
You shall breathe me in,
Drink of my blood,
Eat of my flesh,
And the sun will rise,
Warming the feathers of the smallest bird.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

This World Is Neither

2010-10-31T14:28:00.000-07:00

Temporality

2010-10-24T09:35:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the body is weak
And the spirit sags
And I contemplate mortality,
Questioning again the specific location of the soul,
And the old fear returns:

What if the body is all?
What if all my spiritual perceptions are imaginary?

I am rudely interrupted.

My young calico cat Sally jumps into my lap,
Crying for something that is not food,
For the temporality of my attention.

I stroke her tongue-washed fur
And she ripples with pleasure,
Chirping with tuna-scented breath.

She pulls at my pajamas with sharp claws
And together we abandon all hypothetical considerations.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Consider

2010-10-17T02:29:00.000-07:00

Although you swear God has intervened,
Protected you,
(Or was it angels?)
Stop your self-righteous certainty
For a moment.

Consider all the children
Who die each day,
Each year,
Since the beginning.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

This Nothing

2010-10-10T09:22:00.000-07:00

Enough

2010-10-03T02:34:00.000-07:00

I saw a boy riding his bicycle
Deep in some imagination
Without any bills or job or wife
Or children or war to worry about.

He did not know he was in heaven.
He did not need to know.
Being there was enough.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

First Impressions

2010-09-25T14:38:00.000-07:00

Someday I Will

2010-09-19T02:41:00.000-07:00

The Truth

2010-09-10T10:02:00.000-07:00

The truth has always been here, long before it was written about, long before religion.

The wisest among us are interpreters, but the truth is eternal and cannot be changed by the interpretations of people.

~ Words and artwork by Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

God Dog

2010-09-05T14:44:00.000-07:00

Once there was a small brown dog who loved God.
He loved God so much
He decided to change his name
To God,
God Dog,
The 1st.

Then,
He began to pee on the furniture
Without restraint.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Skipping

2010-08-29T02:46:00.000-07:00

My dead relatives see a future they never imagined.

And here I thought the future was so far ahead
I could scarcely imagine it,
Beyond the usual flying cars,
Electricity from air,
Freedom from disease.

My dead relatives say I’m living in the future.

I don’t have to look too far back to see how right they are,
Or too far forward to see how wrong they are.
But right now, right here,
What is this exactly?

It moves so quickly I don’t have time to focus,
My thoughts are blurred,
My explanations obsolete.

I am skipping across the surface of time,
Watching my hair turn white.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

God's Little Figures

2010-08-22T02:48:00.000-07:00

And it was said,
Let us make God in our image,
After our likeness,
And He shall have dominion over all the Earth,
And God we created he Him,
In our image,
From our spirit,
And we so exalted God
We came to believe He created we us,
In His image,
Individual and separate,
God’s little figures,
Made out of clay.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Sight For Sore Eyes

2010-08-15T02:49:00.000-07:00

How insignificant we are
Among the minions of space
And time.
Yes, yes,
It’s the profound realization of our age
Among those not generally given
To profound realizations.
I hear it all the time,
Spoken with reverential awe
By some initiate
For whom a certain curtain
Has only recently
Lifted.

But what if we are the only things on two legs
That cerebrate so
In the neighborhood of this particular infinity?
The only coffee shop in sight
On that long and lonely interstellar highway?
Well, that would be something,
Wouldn’t it?
We just might be a real sight for sore eyes
After all,
The whole damn bunch of us.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Heaven And Hell

2010-08-08T14:51:00.000-07:00

Sometimes this peaceful suburban landscape
Seems like heaven.

I am momentarily reprieved
And the people in my tiny town glow,
Translucent arcs of light
Moving about their daily tasks.

We stop and talk a while.

Hell returns.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Saints In Waiting

2010-08-01T03:00:00.000-07:00

If we were saints
Living the lives of abandoned insects
Under parked cars
With our antennae finely tuned
Into God’s frequency,
We would praise the glories
Of our tiny lives,
The stray fast-food crumbs,
A patch of dew-laden crabgrass.

Behold this mighty river of asphalt,
My children,
And fear not the larger beasts.
We are the chosen,
And through our selfless purity
We shall inherit this earth.

Not long now,
Our time to come.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

The Secret Of Enlightenment

2010-07-25T02:54:00.000-07:00

Saying The Word

2010-07-18T01:41:00.000-07:00

Idolatry

2010-07-11T02:58:00.000-07:00

They crowd around the dirty window
Where the faintest image of Jesus has appeared,
Standing for hours,
Praying,
Hoping to be blessed,
To be sanctified.

All around the world
The faithful are making pilgrimages,
Pressing their lips to sacred artifacts,
Expecting miraculous transformation,
As if God were in one place
And not another.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Guardian

2010-07-09T10:31:00.000-07:00

She walks among us,
Taking physical form for a moment,
Watching.

But when I am particularly low,
When my light is flickering,
She comes closer,
Smiles into my eyes,
Deep,
And I am renewed.

Only later do I realize,
I have seen her again.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

I See Them

2010-07-05T15:02:00.000-07:00

There was a rabbit
Loose in the grove.
She taught me how to enter
The silence of its fear
So it would know
My innocence.

There was an old clock
Whose tic and toc
Was heard by those
Who could only imagine me.
She taught me how to travel
Through the sound
Into their hearts.

In spring her orchard was full
Of birds and butterflies.
She pressed her warm fingers
Over my eyes and said:
See from where
All pretty things come.

Her old Siamese
Loved his pie-pan milk
Steaming on the back porch.
One winter he was gone.
I remembered how still he sat
With folded paws
And cloud-blue eyes.

Looking into heaven
He finally found his way,
She whispered,
Close your eyes
And see him.

I see them.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Reverence

2010-07-04T15:03:00.000-07:00

We are taught to revere the old ways
Of our beloved ancestors,
Their ancient wisdom,
Honed over generations
Into this perfect jewel,
Hard,
Prismatic,
Eternal,
An ornament
Worn so proudly by those who know,
Our teachers,
The guardians of all knowledge,
The caretakers of the past.

Impediments.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

The Saints

2010-06-19T15:06:00.000-07:00

The saints so often say
We must give up wanting,
Surrender desire,
Disregard comfort,
Give everything to the poor
And live a life of service
To others.

They are like so many in this world
Who choose a path,
Who fulfill a destiny,
Then declare it is the only path,
The only destiny.

Even saints suffer from certainty.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Reminder

2010-06-13T15:07:00.000-07:00

A Language

2010-06-07T15:08:00.000-07:00

The mind says,
Listen to me, I will explain everything.

The heart says,
I understand, but my feelings are unchanged.

The mind says,
This is God and this is life,
All is explained.

The heart says,
I speak a language you do not understand,
A language without words.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

The Question

2010-05-31T15:09:00.000-07:00

I know there are some
Who ask if there is a soul.

Yet is it not a surpising question?
As if someone turned to you,
Stopped you on a crowded city sidewalk
And asked: Do you believe in the body?

Belief comes after the fact.

Yes, I know,
We cannot photograph the soul
Or slip a fragment of it under a microscope.

Yet the very idea of spiritless being
Causes something in me to recoil,
Something that cannot deny its own existence,
Something I call,
If I must,
The soul.

~ Russ Allison Loar
© All Rights Reserved

Cacophony

2010-05-22T10:52:00.000-07:00

. . . of making many books there is no end; and much study is a weakness of the flesh.

~ Ecclesiastes, Chapter XII, Verse 12

How fervent,
How intricately detailed,
Our entreaties,
How reason-filled our requests,
How impassioned our pleas.

How many books have we made,
Filled with tiny words,
Preaching,
How many?

All these tiny words
Speaking on our behalf,
Speaking to instruct us,
Explaining,
Imploring.
From the beginning of the printed word,
The beginning of the spoken word,
How many?

Now, imagine you are God,
Imagine the cacophony,
Imagine your delight
In one single, solitary, silent prayer.